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Reconciling Sibling Relationships

When Scott and his younger sister, Cami, were about 10 and 12, he says, “I began rebelling against anything that demanded something from me. Cami had relied on me for much of her care from the time I was three. But I began to resent the role and believed I was not seen as who I truly am.”

Scott moved away at 16. “After nine years in the Marines and several years as a senior technology consultant, several bouts with alcoholism, extreme drug use, and two failed marriages, kids — I began recognizing the distance in my personal relationships,” says Scott, now 43 and living in Bozeman, Montana, with his new wife and child. “I set an intention to improve all my relationships, which continued a lifelong search for spiritual truth and is at the root of where I am today."

Scott knew he needed to reconnect with Cami, but felt trepidation “about how to re-enter a relationship with this beautiful woman I had loved as a child and grown to hate as a teenager.” He initiated a phone call in 2001, after almost 20 years of separation. Around that time he was also introduced to an audiotape about Rosenberg’s anger-management process called “nonviolent communication,” which helped him discover a new language for communicating with others. Scott began to experience a more peaceful way of relating.