Reconciling Sibling Relationships
When I was a kid, I used to make up puns to tease my older sister. The one I remember best, the one that sent her into gales of laughter, was, “I’d raise Cain if I were Abel.” Little did I realize that story of sibling rivalry from Genesis would define almost 30 years of our adult relationship. Gratefully, our current lives play out the other famous Biblical sibling story: Like Joseph and his brothers, we have reconciled our past, joining in heartfelt appreciation for a nurturing reconnection.
When we were growing up, Marcia and I were close. She was three and a half years older, and I idolized her. But we fought, too: When at age five I hit her over the head with my roller skate key, she chose the least painful retribution our parents suggested: that I would stop my baby talk [another option was that she would hit me over the head with her skate key]. Marcia always looked after me, and I tried to emulate her intellect and beauty.
After college, I followed her to Northern California. We stayed close until the mid-’70s, when I fell in love with the man I married in 1981 — about the time she moved to Los Angeles. Soon after, her move turned into a spiritual quest from which I felt alienated. We both felt abandoned, but never expressed the hurt. And so the wounds festered.
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